The testimony of Steven C. Millhorn of Expounder Ministries of Dallas Texas, about how God delivered me from Alcohol and about my related vow.
Greetings to all Christians and those who may become saints of God in the future: “Mercy unto you, and Peace and love be multiplied”.
I invite you to not only read this testimony of my errors with alcohol, but also read my adjoining Abortion testimony that I wrote a number of years ago, for it closely mirrors this testimony which I wrote today February 23rd, 2020
I must first bring a needed disclaimer to this message, for when I describe certain things contained herein, I am not in any way endorsing, approving or recommending alcohol to any person,
I’m only giving my testimony (albeit, I do not hinder born again people who have a glass of wine with the evening meal, nor do I judge their spirituality, drunkenness is the enemy).
My drinking began in High School back in the 70’s as the Rock n roll and disco era was in full bloom. Just as my excitement to enjoy it with inebriation was also fully ripe.
For most people, it’s undeniable that alcohol creates a pleasure sensation to the brain and body. And as a young man whose focus was on pleasure and women, this was the perfect drug of choice.
I briefly experimented with weed, but really never did anything thing else. I mean “nothing else”, alcohol was my go to crutch.
Now in my opinion, there are two main reactions when a person get’s buzzed or drunk, they get hard and violent or they get soft and merry and morally loose. I was the kind that only sought merriment, joy and sex.
But knowing the wrath of God about hell fire, being raised Roman Catholic, I drank to the point of inebriation to mask the guilt of my sexual adventures and trysts.
So, for the most part, due to lust and alcohol, I got a woman and a girl pregnant in my senior year of high school.
The woman was married and 26, while I was 18, the girl was 17, while I was 17. Both of these girls had abortions, which gave me great relief at the time, but a lifetime of sorrow once I became born again at the age of 26.
I was a heavy drinker and I drank to get drunk. I drank at the local disco for social reasons and to pick up women. I also drank at my apartment in my loneliness with men’s magazines and still sought free sex with women.
As mentioned before, alcohol loosens the natural safeguards of the conscious that was naturally placed in us by God. Nevertheless, I was a all or none type person, a black and white type person; go all in or stay out type person. But thank God for His mercy and restorative grace!
I got saved in 1985, and I struggled with being free from alcohol for the first 3 years of my walk. I would go many weeks and sometimes up to 3 months before falling back into that loneliness trap, and I also felt the spirits of darkness trying to pull me back in.
But being young and immature in the faith I thought to myself, Ok God, now that I’ve given myself to you, why haven’t you brought me my wife yet?
Well, I will not go into why that was so dumb, but suffice it to say that I needed growing up time: spiritually, emotionally and morally.
But let me also say that during those first 3 years of struggle to be free of alcohol, I did not feel the same pleasure sensation of drunkenness that I once enjoyed while I was a heathen. For there is a reason why they call alcohol “spirits”, because there’s definitely some assistance from the powers of darkness attached to drunkenness or excess.
So, in my continual desire and prayers to God to be free of Alcohol, (for I was in a church where the Word of God and holy living was expected), God granted me mercy in a rather dramatic way.
I went for many weeks to a deliverance counsellor who at the end of our time together, cast out the demon of alcohol out of my body/soul along with a few other choice devils.
As time went on, and as I matured and grew in the Lord, I really thought I could handle myself in all areas of my life. Then came the legalization of the lottery in the Lone Star State and I foolishly thought I could gain money by doing that and give the money to God’s work.
And as you could imagine, during my heathen days, I also gambled in my drunken state, but with the lottery, I thought it was different and fun.
But to make a long story short, I was grieved about doing the lottery thing, and VOWED to God not to do it again. More time passed and I thought I had grown and was mature in the Lord now, so I prayed to God and undid my VOW and went and bought a lottery ticket.
But Oh my stars, that very night, God gave me a dream in which I was forever marked and changed.
In the dream, I was in a darkened arena. It was like a restaurant setting of the Old Jousting knights in the middle of a dirt floor and the people were ringed about the floor eating their meal.
In the dream, a horse and rider came up out of the dirt floor with fire bellowing out, as if he had emerged from Hell.
I was in the middle of the dirt floor watching all this.
There were 3 lambs to the side middle of the dirt floor of this restaurant, lined up in a triangles shape. It was revealed to me in the dream that the 3 lambs represented my 3 biggest vices, alcohol, women and gambling.
The rider on the horse that came up out of the pit was the devil and drew his sword and was about to stab one of the lambs.
Right then in the dream a voice yelled out from the crowd saying NO, it’s for the glory of God. The meaning was this, I had thought that the profits from the lottery and or gambling would enable me to give more money to the things of God.
But as I was hearing and seeing all of this, I shouted NOOOOOOO, but the rider/devil took his sword out and just touched one of the lambs with the tip of his sword and immediately, the lamb turned belly up dead, with (cartoon like) plus signs in his eyes representing death.
Upon waking up from this dream, I immediately was given the interpretation. The 3 lambs were my 3 vices, and since I had un-righteously prayed and undid my vow against gambling, God showed me that if I were ever to drink, gamble or fornicate again, that this would be my end.
That God would allow the devil to strike me in the belly to kill me. By what method I do not know, cancer, bullet, sword? I do not know. For I also had vowed to the Lord to stop drinking at one point but failed Him.
So, to conclude, alcohol does indeed bring a measure of physical pleasure to the brain and body, that’s why millions of people around the world drink as much as they do.
But alcohol in excess also brings with it spiritual trouble, it brings with it moral compromise, it brings a degradation of an upright character, in choosing things that are ungodly.
And yet, I don’t want to leave this story without saying that it caused me to be sick, hung over, getting stopped by the police, wrecking a car, loosing money in gambling, running in fear and being bound by it’s addiction for over ten years.
So yes, it takes a desire to quit alcohol, it takes the Lord’s interaction to help you, and it’s just not worth it, for it can destroy your reputation and cause holy people to be defiled.
I’ve been alcohol free since February of 1988 and I’m so glad that the Lord helped me lose all desire for gambling and alcohol, for I am still under that vow for the rest of my life.
I will admit though that I still like women, and I being a red-blooded Texan, must not let down my guard against yielding to this last area of challenge in my life.
Well, I hope that many of you can draw some sort of help or encouragement to any struggle that you may have or had in your dealings with the sauce, because it has brought down many a good man.
Please feel free to email or communicate with me about this testimony and if you need deliverance from the Lord, I can pray for you…….but you must be willing and earnestly seeking it, and God will help you for sure.
The Abortion Testimony of Steven C Millhorn of Expounder Ministries of Dallas Texas
Glory be unto our Heavenly Father in Jesus name, even in the midst of personal Judgment. My Beloved, you can always be grateful to God for the Blessings He has bestowed upon you, for there is always someone else or other people who are worse off than yourself. Case in point "me".... Let me explain.
Now I’m speaking specially to those of you who have children or to those of you, who’ve had abortions. I believe myself to be worse off than any of you no matter what the circumstances of how you obtained your child.
You see, I have borne the cause and effect of my licentious behavior and debauchery which I committed as a youth from the age of 17 to about 26; in acting like an alley cat and a whoremonger (Much to the disapproval and angst of my most excellent parents).
But because of my deceived and lawless regard for God’s Commandments and because of my pursuit of physical sexual pleasures with both married and unmarried girls and women, God withheld me from having children of my own.
Albeit, I will always affirm that the unknown number of babies of mine that never saw the light of day due to abortion, I shall see again in Heaven. For they shall be fully grown and will surely welcome me with an open and loving heart as their dad in that day.
But let me digress. In most of the half dozen or so cases that I was aware of, the end result of my regretful trysts and ill-advised rendezvous ended in abortions.
At the time of my transgressions, I might have bragged or boasted from all the married and unmarried woman that I impregnated over those 9 years but now I am heavy. I say I am heavy, not for the guilt and burden of sinful fornication, adultery, and the murder of abortion, which the Lord Jesus removed by His Blood. But for shame in the knowledge that I had committed such acts and did so thinking myself to be a rather “good” guy.
I wasn’t a big sinner like most of the people I hung out with. For they did far worse things than me. I just devoted myself to alcohol, women, illicit sex, gambling, porn and cussing, that was it! No lying, no stealing, no violence, no drugs, just a regular guy you know…. boy how deceived I was.
But in 1985 as God began to put a stop to all this and as He began to pull me out of the impending fires of hell, He gradually put upon me the knowledge that one of the sowing and reaping consequences of my life would be that I would go childless. When I say childless, I don’t mean the souls in Heaven that are my offspring, I mean, I never had a daughter who called me daddy. I never had a boy that I could call “my son”.
I think of my lengthy and slow burning chastisement in this positive way: As a mother bird brings her chick a bug or a worm and drops it into the OPEN and AWAITING mouth of that chick....I also, continually open my mouth and am ever content with the Chastisement of the Lord, eating of His Good judgment upon me in withholding a child from me.
Due to my alley cat ways and debauchery, I have no children on the earth to wish me a happy father's day or to hold my hand......but again, I look forward to the day that my half dozen or more children will see me in Heaven when I get there "Lord willing".
So to anyone reading this testimony, I do not say all these things to burden you, but to remind you that there is cause for celebration in every good thing that God does, even in the pain of His Judgment.
Now I eventually was cleaned up by the Lord and married a slightly older Christian gal who was and is dear to my heart. And when my wife got pregnant one or two years into our marriage, I was astounded, but later was not surprised when it turned out blighted in the 3rd or 4th month and she lost it...never to be pregnant again....I have one child by her in heaven.....for you cannot have a placenta without first having a conceived child therein to feed it
So to conclude my dear one reading this, there is cause and affect for everything in life, especially in light of the SCOTUS decision regarding Homosexual Unions. There is God’s eternal law of sowing and reaping and there are consequences to sinful behavior.
There were many times in my life which God spared me from certain death via aviation, vehicle and violence, and I am eternally grateful that He did for I would be in Hell right now, never having known Him or His good life.
I am grateful to God that even though I feel the slow burning pain of being childless, I know that like in all things that He does, redemption and reconciliation is possible and when I meet them in Heaven, all things will be restored.
So it’s a fearful thing to fall into the Hands of the Living God, but I’d rather endure His chastisement on this side of eternity, than on the other side. For on this side is mercy, grace, helps, forgiveness and healing, but on the other side is eternal torment and perdition.
Thank you for reading this very personal testimony Love ya lots-Brother Steven